Bride stirs controversy after asking non-binary brother to choose dress or suit for wedding day

A bride-to-be caused a bit of online drama after admitting she was frustrated with her non-binary brother who said she wasn’t sure if he wanted to dress typical female or male on her wedding day.

As the bride prepares to say ‘yes’ in two months, her big day has been brewing for over a year and when she initially asked her brother to be her bridesmaid, they didn’t. were not yet released as non-binary. .

Talk about your situation on Reddit am I the A ** hole forum, the bride wrote: “Sometimes they dress feminine, sometimes masculine and others in between. I asked if they still wanted to be a bridesmaid and they said they preferred to be a bride, which is obviously not a problem. ”

“I asked them if they would wear a dress or a suit or something smart but the same color as my friends’ dresses. They said they weren’t sure and they would answer me. . “

The bride also made it very clear that she had no issues with what her brother would choose to wear that day, but revealed that she felt slightly frustrated because her brother said he wouldn’t know. what he would like to wear before the wedding day.

She added: “I only asked for three bridesmaids because the wedding is on a budget but I still wanted to pay for their dresses. Now it’s two months before the wedding and they still haven’t. decided what they want to wear. I asked today if they had decided because I really need to order the bridesmaid dresses ASAP, even though they are made in the store because they still need some ‘adjustments.

The bride was on a tight budget but still wanted to buy her outfits

“I said I always buy the dress or the costume or whatever they want to wear but I need to know what it will be. My brother insists that they won’t know until daybreak if they want to dress more feminine; a dress, or more masculine; a costume, so I should buy both and I can return what they’re not wearing. “

However, the bride went on to say that the store where she purchases the outfits would not take returns once the items were changed, meaning she would end up paying for two non-refundable outfits when she was on. . a tight budget.

She continued, “My brother thinks I’m a bride for that because I won’t buy both. I reminded them that they can wear something else that is smart and we can even go shopping. together but they want either a dress or a costume. “

“I’m starting to wonder if I’m an asshole because I know it can’t be easy for them not to know how they’re going to feel that day and I don’t want to force them to wear something. thing they’re not comfortable with but I need to know what’s going on somehow. “

While most people generally agreed that the bride was not unreasonable in not wanting to buy two separate outfits, many people suggested a compromise, such as the bride buying one outfit and the bride buying the other.

A wedding guest in a tuxedo
The brother says he won’t know what he wants to wear until daybreak

Meanwhile, another suggested that she point out to her brother that everyone at a wedding has to choose their outfit months in advance, including the bride, groom, and their two parties – however, one person no. binary pointed out that this would not solve the problem. dysphoria problem that a brother or sister may experience by choosing the wrong outfit in advance.

“For a lot of non-binary people, what they feel comfortable in can change from day to day. So if they choose a dress now, it’s fine that day that they feel more masculine. that feminine and wearing a dress could be horribly dysmorphic for them, ”they explained.

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Daniel Lange

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