Spoilers below for anyone who hasn’t watched the big Conners wedding episode yet, so be warned!
Weddings are rarely a smooth and easy going business, and it will triple for nuptials on television. It would therefore be against logic and good taste if the conners‘wedding episode for Dan and Louise was anything but hectic and filled with calamities. This family does to do smooth and easy going, damn it. Now someone gives Dan and Louise each a congratulatory beer.
With all the narrative hurdles exposed, The Conners’ big wedding episode was one of the first highlights of Season 4, with many legitimately hilarious and cringe-worthy moments wrapped around each other. Like a ring around a finger. An alliance. Full circle. Like an alliance too. Cut at the best and most awkward moments!
Everything about Tony Cavalero’s Aldo
I definitely rate this one under AA for Awkward As, Fuck. Things immediately felt a little skeezy when Harris revealed that she took her 38-year-old colleague with children as her wedding date, and that feeling once crossed the stratosphere Tony Cavalero was revealed as Aldo, the guy you recognize for his snake neck tattoo with a devil’s head. Cavalero, who shares the spotlight with John goodman in HBO The right gems, didn’t have much time to shine alongside Emma Kenney‘s Harris, but it’s a brilliant apocalyptic device of a relationship to keep the conners“Mother-daughter relationship on edge.
Louise’s bridesmaid dress debacle
To be expected, Louise has 99 issues, and sloppy bridesmaid dresses are absolutely one of them. The scene might have seemed more trope if it weren’t for both Katey sagalexcellence, as well as Lecy Goranson and Sara gilbert appearing momentarily to deliver a real visual gag to accompany the story. And if they had stayed in their respective fabric deluge, it might have lost some of its impact, but it was perfectly short and sweet.
Ben’s arrival before the wedding
First off, we have Jeff as the world’s worst wedding trip. Then we have the mental horror of Darlene as she realizes that Ben’s +1 at marriage was supposed to be her mother, along with her hypothesis that the Conners could be spreading something worse than COVID. Next, we have Ben who is going to rub Darlene’s “brash” marriage proposal all over his face. I tend to like to make fun of Ben for kicking, but you know the only reason he got so aggressive was because not-A-Professor Jeff was there. I hate the game, not the Darlene, bruh.
Dr Harding’s Tornado Sesh Therapy
Fred Savage’s return as Darlene’s therapist Dr. Harding was a delightfully absurd scene where the characters were talking through the open windows of vehicles during a storm and no one was soaked in rage because of it. But the best was Harding’s simple idea of going out and chasing tornadoes (along with the Tornado Chasers, natch) as a way to change his boring ways and then offer his professional opinion that driving in a tornado is also the best. action plan for Darlène. Which would be lazy advice if it wasn’t so appropriate. But seriously, they would have been soaked.
Becky’s hilarious champagne toast sipping in the church bathroom
To my great pleasure, the conners offered a double dose of the blossoming Becky, whose dazzling smile in the last third of the episode remained a delight. Of course, it all happened during a fiery domino rally, starting with Becky’s A + toast:
Wow ! This awkwardness was then overcome when Becky realized she had had a glass of champagne instead of apple juice, then went into an emotional spiral after accidentally interrupting her sobriety streak. But you know what they say, sex in the church bathroom is the best medicine. Even though his brother manages to step on it, but let’s all give thanks that DJ chose to leave before he peed. It could have thwarted the drug or something.
That moment when it seemed Louise wasn’t coming
Sure the conners was not going to leave Dan hanging on the altar with Louise who was really cold in the eyes. Of course not! But I admit I believed that could indeed be the case from the two seconds before Louise appeared behind an equally surprised Neville. And during those two seconds, my heart burst a thousand times at the thought of what Dan’s face would look like if she couldn’t. Oh, this Louise and her perfect timing.
Wedding mermaids and broken windows
If there’s a tornado mentioned in Act 1, you can bet it’ll come back to twist things at the end. This is how Dan and Louise were officially married (without witnesses) by Jackie, whose ability to do so came from the last pages of Highlights, a few yards from broken glass and other debris. A fitting way to bring the church into the story after tapping into Roseanne’s relationship with God affecting Darlene’s emotional journey. Of course, this is a dangerous precedent to set in life. If we can get married during a tornado, then anything should be possible, but it’s the Conner family.
The glorious return of Drunk Jackie
Laurie Metcalf is always a fucking joy when Jackie is completely deranged, especially when alcohol is involved. And I might have had my hardest part Conners-inspired chuckle again after everyone got home and she screamed rehearsed Becky’s toast earlier that night and gave her late props for it. Metcalf seemed really hammered with this performance, making it all the more hilarious, and Nat Faxon and others can be seen trying not to break completely during these times.
Darlene and Ben becoming cordial again
We started with awkward and end with awkward, because “The Wedding of Dan and Louise” ended not with Dan and Louise, but with Ben and Darlene. After Mark blew up her mother for the potential loss of Foreign Movie Night, Darlene’s next interaction with Ben could have gone a thousand different ways. And the way it turned out started off with a few spades shared with Mark’s happiness in mind, which was very good. But then, like, he got 1% ooey-gooey, with Ben passionately-aggressively saying that it’s hard to stop caring about Darlene, even if he wants to, and Darlene being like, “Huh. ” The kind of “eh” that goes straight back to “Let’s go in together, Ben!” Only after first driving to Drunk Jackie’s breasts.
Without a formal wedding reception, Jackie is probably the only person who will wake up with a hangover. Make sure you see where things are going next when the conners Airs Wednesday evenings on ABC at 9 p.m. ET.